Too Much Fun?!

Think of a time when you were really excited. Like so excited you could feel it in your entire body. Maybe you squealed with delight or jumped up and down or did a little dance. Maybe your heart was beating fast and your palms were sweaty or your face was flushed, you got little butterflies fluttering in your stomach in anticipation of the exciting thing. You were flooded with adrenaline. It felt good.

Now think of a time when you were terrified. So scared. Your heart and thoughts raced with worry, you broke out in a sweat and your stomach flipped, your breath caught in your throat or you let out a cry as your body jumped or began shaking with fear. You were flooded with adrenaline. It was traumatic.

The physical responses in our body that signal to our brain the feelings of excitement or fear are very similar. Our children’s brains are still developing and many times their brains will interpret exciting situations as fearful situations. New experiences or times when our children do not know exactly what to expect, can elicit feelings of fear or stress.

Here’s why I’m telling you this - there is such a thing as too much fun for our little ones or for neurodivergent children. When you plan a big exciting, amazing holiday celebration, birthday party, vacation or fun experience and your child’s behavior is terrible or they start to tantrum or meltdown, it’s because their brain and body is overwhelmed with stress. The excitement that they feel when doing the special thing, can cause them to respond similarly to how they would in situations of fear or high stress. 

Oftentimes when this occurs, we think our children are ungrateful or spoiled or disobedient. When instead they are overwhelmed, stressed, unsure of what to expect or they feel out of control. When these situations arise, we can respond with empathy and grace. We can help our children know what to expect and co-regulate with them to calm their nervous system to a regulated state rather than one that is overwhelmed with excitement! When you recognize their meltdown as needing support, you can parent their body and help them return to a calm state much quicker than if you think they are just being disobedient and respond with lecturing, scolding or shaming. I know, easier said than done, right?!

The holidays (or any special event really) can be filled with joy and fun and excitement for kids and adults alike but remember these FUN times can also be filled with stress and overwhelm and exhaustion for adults and kids as well! 

What do you think, is there such a thing as TOO MUCH FUN?!